So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
