my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
