it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
