is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
