Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
