tell your sister to shave her snatch
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
