I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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