Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
