i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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