okay pat passed out under dana's car
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize