Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
