I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
