Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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