Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
