with your own penis?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
