i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
