In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
not ubering you a puppy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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