their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
