I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize