My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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