she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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