Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so let's talk penis.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
