I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So squirting runs in the family.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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