I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
