just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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