i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
