just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
