Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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