Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
