Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
