Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
