Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
