I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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