Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so let's talk penis.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
