you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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