Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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