Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
