you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
