I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
