ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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