My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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