wat bout pragnant strippers??
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
