This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
