i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
