I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
