So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
