When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
