definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize