so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
