You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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