should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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