Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
