The maid of honor just puked.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
