youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
