You made me cry and you don't even care
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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